All About us..
And - how it works...

The Beer and Totty: Review Team

The four guys below are the main review team for Beer and Totty
They have consumed many millions of pints between them...

James! James Buchanan

James (along with Sam) created the original Reading Pub Guide many years ago - which was the starting point for Beer and Totty. James has many years of drinking experience - including a 165 day continious run, which ended with James entering hospital.

To find out more about James visit: BuchananNet.
Or, contact James - by email to: .

Sam Hill Sam Hill

Sam has been drinking for as long as he can remember, and specialises in anything beer or wine-y. As yet, Sam has not had any hospital trips (unlike all the other reviewers) as a result of his own drinking, but was hospitalised a few years ago as a result of someone elses - drinking is a dangerous game and is not good for your health!

To find out more about Sam visit: samhill.co.uk.
Or, contact Sam - by email to: .

nik Nik Sotomayor-Robbins aka Forrest

Nik is such a dedicated reviewer and drinker, (and as punishment) he has been dispatched to Australia and a few other countries - with the simple instruction of: Review as many venues as possible! Nik is famed for his drinknig incidents including waking up one day with his arm in plaster after a night out, and also smashing his head open by giving someone a piggyback ride home...

Contact Nik - by email to: .

Iain Iain Barrington-Light

Iain, the only one of us posh enough to qualify for a double-barrelled surname is our expert on the smart places to drink in town - were designer suits, and fancy pants are required for entry. Iain as yet hasn't submitted any reviews of these venues so we do wonder if he can actually get in them!

Neil Neil Pattinson

Neil has been to so many pubs he's probably lost count, and as a result doctors have advised to him to cut out drinking or he faces probable liver failure (yet another example of why drinking is bad for you), however - he keeps going and reviewing venues. (Anywhere cheesy on here is normally a Neil review!)

Contact Neil - by email to: .

Shelley Shelley Bird

The ever lovely Shelley. Gets drunk after a few sips and is highly entertaining. The ideal person to cast her critical eye over all venues to ensure they come up to scratch.

Josie Josie Smedley

The equally lovely Josie is always ready to assess any male talent in a venue. She can also keep up with the best of them and would keep up with the drinks when others would be under the table.

Bill Bill Bishop

The roughest of the Red-necks; Bill is our American Correspondent idling his days away in Baltimore slowly destroying his lvier on a concoction of "lite" beers and wines. A bit past it for getting the youth angle so often relies on his neices reports as to where is a "happenin' place".

Additional Reviewers and Contributors:

Dave Metcalf
Our West-of-England correspondent
covers little pubs on windy islands,
Wales, and other far away lands we're
too scared to visit....
Chris Gordon
Artist extraordinaire...
Supplier of The Local cartoon...


But! Thats not the end of the review team, the other reviewers are YOU the visitors to this site, as much as we would like we can't possibly get around all the pubs, bars and clubs on the planet - so we feature 3rd Party reviews which are reviews that although we have not been the the pub to verify, are as good a review as the others on here (we check each one to ensure its a fair review).

So go on - help us out and other people - review your local, your favourite pub, anywhere where you've had a bad time - we want to know all about it! Just follow the review methology guide below...


Spirits!  Firstly and most importantly - we are not affiliated in anyway to any of the pubs, bars or clubs reviewed on here. We don't work for them, we haven't been paid to review them, we haven't accepted any bribes in formulating the review - we just go see what its like and tell it how it is. Everything is rated out of five, but sometimes half points are used as well.

If a place is good - we'll say it is - and if you go there - we hope you'll agree with us, if not - then please tell us, each review allows for people to supply a Mini review and further comments on the venue, if we have it completely wrong - here is your chance to correct the review, failing that use our Messageboard. We also have a Links Page for you to give us links to any other websites that are worth knowing about...



How it all works... The Review Method...

We will go into a place and stay for a minimum of two drinks - to get a decent flavour of the place. Then using our best skills formulate a review in our five categories:

1. Range, price and quality of drinks
  - This based on the price of a drink, what the selection is like for beer, spirit, wine and soft drink fans - and how the drink tastes.

2. How good the totty is in the place
What is the scenery like - are the girls all super models or all are right slappers? Are the blokes full of phwoar or did they hit every branch of the ugly tree...?

Soft drinks!

Beer! 3. What are the bar staff like
  - Nice and chatty? Or hate you the moment you are through the door?

4. What facilities are available
  - Nice and comfy with pool, darts, and games machines for a pub. Decent lighting and sound systems for a club. Nice food and style for a bar... Or just crap?

5. What is the atmosphere like
  - Feel at home? Feel relaxed? Completely deserted? Packed and sweaty?


Then given all the above, we add in our own opinions - it might have really cheap drinks and loads of facilities, but if we didn't actually enjoy being in there is it really that good?
This allows us to formulate a nice Overall bottom line on the place and whether its actually worth going to...


Now, please help us out and help build up the list - just visit your local, take a pen and paper, note down what you think of the place in the 5 categories above and come up with an overall; oh and try to remember how much a pint cost. Then when your sober, just enter the details onto this simple form and we're check it and add it to our list of venues. Simple.


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